Radio: Gossip Churl

How about all that misinformation about HD Radio that was funneled out to the masses this past weekend?

You know, the one about Steve Jobs’ Apple manufacturing an HD Radio/iPod hybrid boom box? It was hot news for a nanosecond on the pro-HD Radio trades and web sites. I could’ve mentioned in last Thursday’s blog, but chose to ignore it.

I felt HD Radio Alliance head Peter “Sgt. Bilk-o” Ferrara’s plea to the FCC that if the XM-Sirius merger goes through that all satellite receivers should include an HD Radio was enough humor for the weekend.

Pro-HD Radio evangelists proclaimed this well-placed scam to be a sign that Steve Jobs was endorsing HD Radio.

In reality, it was fabricated nonsense that reeked from the foul rat odor of the falsehoods and deceit we’ve come to recognize from Bilk-o and his fraudulent HD Radio Alliance.

Sad, isn’t it? That was the best rumor he could peddle in front of the Consumer Electronics Show this year? A 13-year old girl could’ve done better job at selling this gossip.

Did Bilk-o really believe that anyone would fall for a tale this incongruous?

The HD Radio/iPod boom box amalgamation was leaked to iLounge.com, an independent site of dedicated to presenting the latest news and gossip of all things iPod.

When iLounge added the anecdote on-line – as it does with all tittle-tattle, the HD Radio Alliance leaked the fictitious story again – for a second time – to the trades, which printed the mendacity as….well, judge yourself with this piece from Radio Ink: http://www.radioink.com/HeadlineEntry.asp?hid=140565&pt=todaysnews .

I can’t fault any pro-radio trade or site to pounce on any story that speaks optimistically of the radio industry these days. Here’s where it goes sour. The accomplices that peddled this story around to the trades embellished it with re-telling the tale of “tagging” – a way to one- stop shop at the iTunes store - and name dropped Clear Channel, CBS Radio, Cumulus, Cox, Entercom, and Greater Media as chains that are in the process of encoding their HD Radio stations to perform such miracles.

Bilk-o, read the Book of Jobs. Steve’s selling iPods and iPhones – not HD Radio. He, like consumers everywhere, couldn’t care less about your product.

Question: Who’s listening to HD Radio?

Answer- Absolutely no one!

Follow this illusory line and tell me what it means: If Apple does indeed introduce a tagging-capable product at Macworld, it won't be its first venture into the boombox arena: It introduced the Hi-Fi iPod boombox early last year. But, like the iPod itself, that boombox did not include a radio. JBL, Alpine, and Polk Audio are all set to introduce tagging-capable HD receivers soon. One has something to do with the other?

The HD Radio Alliance must assume that by the time MacWorld ‘08 – Apple’s annual debutante ball for new products – begins (January 14 – 18) the rumor will be deemed fact and when it doesn’t happen, it will provide the HD Radio Alliance the chance to steal the line used when a sports team chokes in the finals, “maybe next year.”

Here’s another dilemma. HD Radio is killing its host – terrestrial radio.

Media Monitors, which logs radio spots, revealed its number one radio advertiser of 2007 – The HD Radio Alliance.

Let’s tackle the two problems here.

First - They were non-revenue ads. They made no money. All they did was eat inventory.

Second – Put yourself in this place. Say, you’re selling against radio. There’s a buy on the table and it’s up for grabs. One medium gets it all. What would you do?

How about saying that radio’s number one client in ‘07 was HD Radio; receiving a total 1,451,036 announcements on participating stations radio nationwide, which included all the major radio chains?

Add that the intent of this campaign was to convince consumers to buy HD Radio units.

So how many HD Radio units were sold to consumers in 2006? Real figures, please.

Do we see six figures?

Do we see five figures?

How about four?

Next question – How effectual is radio if it can’t move product for its number one client?

Radio, you’ve been scammed by the HD Radio Alliance – again!

You’ve been put in a position to sell a product that no one wants or cares about because it doesn’t work. If you thought FM HD was an embarrassment, please let me introduce you the fiasco known as AM HD Radio.

The gaming/geek cable channel G4 is covering the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas this week. Let’s see how well HD Radio is received this year. Will they even spend one second on HD Radio coverage this year? If they do, it’ll be one second more than they did last year.

For the real world, the CES is where manufacturers drop their new wares. Those that engender consumer interest will have a chance to go to market. New products met with tepid response are scrap heaped.

I take that back. You’ll never see them again unless it’s HD Radio, which has come back from the dead more times than Dracula.

So why perpetrate the myth?

HD Radio, which doesn’t work, is further hampered by a costly chip, which keeps its retail price high. The chip won’t get cheaper unless HD Radio goes into mass production. But it won’t because there is no demand for HD Radio. Come to think of it – isn’t that the definition of terminal?

You can’t predict the future – you can only create it and Bilk-o, this is the hackarama you’ve done for iBiquity and the radio industry.

In addition to those million-plus free spots radio ran, stations are also required to pay royalties to iBiquity and costs paid by manufacturers of HD Radio units are passed along to stations that buy them.

When I explain this deal to those not in the radio business I’m always asked the same question.

Isn’t that like digging the grave you’re going to be buried in?

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Rare WMMS Bruce Springsteen/Southside Johnny jam footage at: http://www.buzzardbook.wordpress.com

HD-railed

Last Sunday I read through the department store circulars. All were pushing Father’s Day gifts. I gave Wal-Mart special attention. After all, they’re supposed to be promoting HD Radio, right?

Hmmmm. Didn’t see HD Radio in Wal-Mart or any other circular.

I started reading the Sunday New York Times. First section. Half-way through. Full page ad. “This Father’s Day get Dad what he really wants.” Sirius satellite radio.

For some mysterious reason, every Wal-Mart store I’ve stopped in over the past week didn’t have any HD Radio units displayed – and had none for sale.

And I got the same response I did three and six months ago when I asked about HD Radio.

“You mean HD TV?”

“No, HD Radio.”

“Do you mean HD DVD or Blue-Ray? We have those…”

“No, HD Radio. It’s a new product.”

“We have satellite radio.”

“No, HD Radio.”

I have yet to find one clerk in any Wal-Mart that even knows of HD Radio.

Let’s try Best Buy.

Identical dialogue.

Maybe I’m wrong about marketing. I’d swear that HD Radio manufacturers would team up with department and media-appliance stores to push their product for Father’s Day. After all, Dad’s so hard to buy for. Mel Karmazin knows that. That’s why he bought that full-page ad in the Times.

The only place we’re going to see HD Radio on display is at the Failure Hall of Fame. Even there it won’t get the prime placement given to Iridium, New Coke, Blue Pepsi, eight-tracks, and AM stereo. At least a few consumers bought into those products.

I have no desire, like others who advise radio stations, to promote HD radio. Maybe it’s because I’m not, never was, and never plan to be on Ibiquity’s payroll. I wonder if that's the reason why my invitation to Ibiquity's latest promo party got lost in the mail.

Some industry trades aren’t always known for their accuracy. They have to drink the Kool Aid since some of their revenues come from those full-page HD Radio ads.

Ibiquity must have the rubber stamp franchise at the FCC. They've closed more deals with the Commission in the last five years than Cal Worthington sold cars in the past thirty.

Just wait until you hear the digital hash on AM radio once HD Radio shatters that frequency. HD on AM conversion will be more expensive than FM’s conversion costs. In addition to upgrading equipment, they’ll be major elephant bucks spent to insure proper bandwidth, which will require a retuning of AM antenna systems.

Face facts. HD Radio doesn’t work. Period. End of story. Fini. Commit to memory the swindler…er…advisor that convinced you HD radio was worth the investment. Remember, Caesar considered Brutus a loyal advisor, too.

Bob Struble? Rhymes with Bernie Cornfeld.

It makes you wonder if Ibiquity’s side business is sending out e-mails guaranteeing you $30 million from a deposed Nigerian diplomat.

Let’s put it another way. Hypothetically visualize a world where every home in the U.S. has at least one HD radio. Every automobile in America has an HD Radio. Let’s even say that you can actually pick up the side channels with the flick of a button – and don’t have to jiggle that pig tail antenna to find a signal.

And since we’re taking our hypothetical HD Radio journey into the land of improbability, let’s say that every format on HD Radio complemented its host station.

Given that, no one radio station would have enough audience to buy time on.

Were you actually surprised with those PPM’s showing virtually no audience loyalty to any one station? Do you really want to spread your shares that thin with HD Radio? You'd be talking about a whole of stations sharing a zero-point-one or two.

Do the math. There aren't enough listeners for too many stations.

The first time I tried HD Radio it was in New York. Couldn’t pick up a thing – even with line-of-sight to Empire.

The second time I tried HD Radio it was in Cleveland. I was only able to pick up one station that stayed on longer than thirty seconds. (I had better luck with Internet radio back it the 28.8 dial-up days). One of the Clear Channel stations has a side-channel dedicated to forties and fifties hits – a cheap imitation of Music of Your Life.

Stop right there.

You’re pitching HD Radio. Who’s your demo? If in the real world you could actually buy an HD Radio at Wal-Mart or K-Mart or Best Buy, who’s most likely to buy one and why? Do you think someone 65 or older would buy it to hear a third-rate Music of Your Life format on a fourth-rate product? Come on, get serious.

I'll give you this. It's probably a thrill for those who'd like that format to hear Andy Williams’ “Canadian Sunset” for the first time in fifty years. It’s less of a thrill when you’re hearing it day after day.

Some canned HD formats rotate the same identical programming every four, six, eight, twelve hours every day. Free advice: At least do odd hours so you’re not repeating the same music at the same time day after day.

Or maybe they know the odds of getting in that HD Radio side channel for more than a few minutes at a time justifies the format's rotation.

You’ve heard of DUI’s. HD radio has created another acronym: DUE. Diminished user experience.

There is no compelling reason to buy an HD Radio. It’s too bad the companies that were snookered into going HD can’t sue. If Ibiquity was a country it would’ve claimed that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction.

How about the classic rock station with a side channel for Hispanic hits? How does that relate, complement or expand the host station’s appeal?

I’m all for companion stations. In fact, it’s going to be essential.

But they’ll be on the Internet – where they belong.

Of those, the only successful ones will be those with formats that in some way complement its host station. Deep oldies, deep album tracks, deep hits – whatever.

As far as HD Radio goes. It’s in its own deep…well, you know.

Radio: The HD Radio Alliance's blame game

Welcome to the fantasy world of HD Radio where the alleged 1,700 or so stations broadcasting in a second-rate digital system were just told by the HD Digital Radio Alliance that they will now be on their own.
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Next year it’ll be up to the stations to do their own creative to supplement the national promo spots they’re committed to run by the Alliance. That’s their way of telling radio, “Don’t blame us for our failure.”
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That was the edict proclaimed by Peter “Sgt. Bilk-o” Ferrara, President and CEO of the HD Digital Radio Alliance, which calls itself the “joint initiative of leading radio broadcasters to accelerate the successful (their prejudiced description) roll-0ut of HD Digital Radio.”
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Let's listen in as hacki di tutti hacki Bilk-o delivers the Alliance’s definition of “Mission Accomplished.”
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It’s purely Presidential.

"When we began putting the pieces in place for the Alliance in the fall of 2005, there was little attention being paid to HD Radio and the industry lacked a plan to make it a reality. There were only a few HD stations on the air, no automakers offered an HD Radio and no national retailers carried receivers," said Bilk-o. "Today, it is gratifying to know how far we’ve come in three short years. While there is still much to do, this has been an unprecedented effort with unparalleled success within the radio industry. It’s a testament to what broadcasters can achieve when the industry comes together with a clear purpose and mission."

The Alliance committed radio to an estimated $680 millions of dollars of free advertising for digital radios, which translated to little interest in the product and no retail sales to speak of.

Now, everything is fair game. The gloves are off. The Alliance is leaving the future of HD Radio in the hands of the station owners.

I want to nominate this as the new slogan for the HD Digital Radio Alliance: We broke it, you bought it!
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Though they have not been able to produce a single document to back their seemingly illusory sales figures, the Alliance claims that 330,000 HD Radio receivers were sold in 2007 – calling that number a whopping 725 per cent increase over the alleged 40,000 sets purchased in 2006.

Stop me if you heard this one before.

The only thing the Alliance has delivered on is a steady stream of b.s., exaggeration, and outright lies.

Prove me wrong.

How many non-radio people do you know that own one – even with those 75-80 percent of retail price discounts?
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Even the hard core techno-geeks passed on this debacle.

Consumers don’t buy into new technology blindly. They buy products they feel will in some manner improve their lifestyle. HD Radio isn’t one of them.

When you create new technology that people can use, the money always follows. Just ask Sergey and Larry at Google and Steve Jobs at Apple. Just don’t ask iBiquity President and CEO Bob “Booble” Struble.

With exception to trustafarians, most of the wealthy people I know and know of got that way by breaking rules to give consumers something they wanted so badly that it becomes a need. HD Radio is needless.

Content? Most HD Radio formats are automated dreck. Granted, there's a few good experimental formats on HD Radio – but how can they be effectual if no one is hearing them?

Design? Most HD Radios look like a cross between a police radio and parking meter. *

Radio Shack is slowly – or perhaps not so slowly - phasing out their HD Radio commitment.
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Show me one retail outlet that’s added space to their HD Radio display.

You can’t.

Wal-Mart never committed to retailing HD Radio in the manner Bilk-o claimed they would.

It was nearly impossible for retailers to sell consumers on HD Radio.
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The few retail outlets that did carry them had difficulty picking up the digital signal in-store.

History will look back on HD Radio as one of the greatest scams leveled on the radio industry.

Booble, who operates in the shadows of the company that landed the U.S. digital radio broadcasting deal in the U.S., may be the bagman – but it's the station chains that are stuck holding the bag.

He eats the radio industry for breakfast, and lunch and dinner. And then he hands it the tab.

It may not be as bad the Great Depression, but it’s a feast of burden in the radio industry.

Broadcast stocks bear an uncanny resemblance to penny stocks. Time buys are scarce. Rates are being discounted. Programming and talent has to be outsourced or voice-tracked. Those still employed are doing triple and quadruple duty, with no attention to detail. Now add the backdrop of the needless expense and time consumption created by the HD Radio folly.

The Alliance also made a not-so-unexpected announcement that effective January 1, 2009; Bilk-o will step down as President and CEO of the Alliance to become its Strategic Advisor. That’s a fancy way of saying “consultant.”

His explanation for exiting? Tell ‘em in your own words, Bilk-o: “Because the Alliance is moving more and more into becoming a marketing organization for HD Radio.” Pause for laughter.

The real reason for his exit is his health. He’s hemorrhaging something far worse than blood. It’s credibility. It’s character.

Bilk-o's replacement was also bred at Clear Channel Radio. Meet Diane Warren.

She's the Alliance’s Executive Vice President and oversees its futile marketing campaign. Also like Bilk-o, she’s been with the Alliance since its creation three years ago.

And what does Bilk-o say of his replacement? “I feel that my skill set is not as strong as Diane’s.”

Did he just call her a better liar?

Here’s what she said. “In 2008 we will have sold the one millionth HD Radio receiver” and “As we look forward, we’ll remember 2008 as a breakout year for HD Radio.”

A million HD Radios will be sold this year? She's good.
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For the sake of space and time, we’ll skip the fact that Sgt. Bilk-o said the same thing about 2007.

Ms. Warren also came up with a dramatic and unaccredited claim that interest in HD Radio has “exploded” with 80 percent of HDRadio.com’s visitors going to the site for the first time. You can tell she’s a former Clear Channel exec. She declined to provide actual numbers.

In what we will come to know as Diane-etics, Ms. Warren offers this unsubstantiated claim: The number of HD Radio stations has increased from some unknown time when there were 300 to over 1,750 today – and that’s not counting another 800 multicasts, though we’re not certain if she counted each multicast twice.

That’s Diane-etics – not to be confused with Diane’s ethics.

Have you noticed that on CBS Radio there’s been a whole lot more streaming audio promotion and a lot less HD Radio?

Maybe they’re on to something.

The radio industry will be able to get back on track a lot faster once it concentrates on programming radio stations people can hear.

My message to the radio industry is paraphrasing Smokey the Bear: Remember, only you can prevent HD Radio liars.
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The Buzzard exposed

Radio: HD Radio's Booble and Bilk-o crank it up!

That horse has been beaten dead. You know it and I know it.

HD Radio. If you bought into it, forget it. You’ve been swindled. You were robbed. It was one of the biggest, most expensive con jobs in radio history. Take solace in knowing that you were far from the only victim in this fraud.

HD Radio - a waste of time, money, engineering, on-air time….need I continue?

Let’s switch subjects for a moment.

Have you bought your Blu-ray DVD player yet? Probably not.

Blu-ray DVDs feature high definition-quality digital video and can only be played on Blue-ray DVD players.

A Harris Interactive Poll showed that only 9 percent of respondents (87 percent of whom own a DVD player) planned on buying a Blu-ray player in 2009.

A study by the NPD Group on Blu-ray found that most respondents were satisfied with their current DVD player and had no plans to upgrade.

These studies were conducted prior to gas jumping over $4/gallon.

An editorial in this week’s Home Media Magazine admitted, “DVD is still the lifeblood of home entertainment, and most likely it will be for years to come.”

Then there’s this piece from Tuesday’s New York Times. Briefly, it explicates the growing pains of High Definition Television “side channels” and how a couple of programming service providers had already gone under due to those pesky financial limitations.

Translation: There was no money in it.

Just because you can have a HD TV side channels doesn’t mean they’ll do anything positive for your bottom line.

This brings us to the scam of all scams – the misleadingly named HD Radio, which is not high definition – and offers side channels of lesser-quality fidelity than an unprocessed analog FM.

Think about it. Most of those surveyed do not plan to upgrade their DVD player and the television industry hasn’t figured out how to monetize their side channels.
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And we're lead to believe there is a demand for this no-thing called HD Radio?
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In this parallel universe where wrong is the new right, the Capo di tutti capi of HD Radio developer iBiquity is Bob Struble or “Booble” as those he believes are his best friends call him behind his back. His supporting dumbbell is Peter “Sgt. Bilk-o” Ferrara. Credit them for knowing everyone’s price of protection to keep their HD Radio scheme alive.

I’m not saying Booble and Bilk-o are in the same league as gangsters, extortionists, cash-skimmers, witness and embezzlers. I am saying that anyone that fell for the HD Radio hype was robbed. Of course they’ll deny that. Will they settle for voluntarily robbed?

They’ll tell you that households will give up their gas budget to buy an HD Radio for all its wonderful and diverse choices.

They’ll also tell you that as consumers are forced to upgrade to High Definition television sets they’ll also upgrade their radio audio, too. Yeah, right.

They’ll even tell you that they would like me to perform an impossible act.

Face facts. There are too many terrestrial radio stations.

Some will go dark over the next 12 to 18 months.

Boobles’ latest scheme was to con a few pols and pals into buying into his proposal that, should the XM-Sirius merger get FCC approval, there would be a covenant for all manufacturers to make units AM/FM/HD Radio compatible.

Then Pioneer, one of the manufacturers of satellite radio units shot it down. They contend that that “the iBiquity conditions would limit the breadth of radio product offerings to consumers, limit which radio component supplier’s products be designed into radio, have the effect of decreasing AM/FM tuning performance, unnecessarily increase costs to consumers uninterested in HD Radio, and interfere with the useful and healthy free-market mechanisms extant in radio electronics purchases.”

Translation: It’s a dumb-as-they-come proposition.

Other manufacturers didn't even bother to respond.

It gets better. Steve Jobs announced his latest 3G iPhone. HD Radio not included. Reason? The chip for HD Radio is too large to fit in the new model iPhone.

Sorry, HD. You’re technologically inferior.

For that matter, the new iPhone has no AM/FM either. I mean…why would you?

Jobs will eventually add radio to the iPhone. Free standing Internet radio.

There’s more.

The HD Digital Radio Alliance now comes clean on problems with their product.

They’re conceding that HD Radio owners are upset with its antenna, which has to be manually moved around like an old fashioned rabbit ears antenna to pull in HD radio channels – and that the side channels frequently drop out. External antenna systems do little to improve the problem.
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What’s their solution? Crank it up, of course.

They’re asking the FCC to allow HD radio stations to increase their power tenfold. Chances are Chairman Boy Kevin Martin will rubber stamp his approval. His bed’s too big without them.

To increase power will require radio stations to squander more contingency dollars for the privilege of purchasing new transmitters and antennas to accommodate the power increase for radio stations that no one is listening to or ever will on that digital frequency.

And just like these stations’ original conversion to digital – it’s strictly voluntary – except for the exorbitant licensing fees paid to iBiquity for the permission of broadcasting digitally on their faulty technology.

Though most chains are waist – or is it waste – deep in the muddled HD Radio scam, CBS Radio in its new alliance with AOL’s Internet radio portal found may have found their out.

Though streaming is still not profitable Viacom Chairman Sumner Redstone has seen the future and knows it will be.

“The merger of CBS Radio and AOL Radio stations into one asset has instantly doubled our daily audience of listeners, and advertisers are signing up every day, clearly recognizing the benefits of being able to target such a highly interactive group of listeners,” says CBS Radio head Dan Mason. “Our stations are gaining access to millions of impressions by being integrated into content throughout AOL’s site. Promotion like that, you can’t put a price on.”

And not a word was said about HD Radio. Things to come?

Its Father’s Day this Sunday. Did you expect the HD Radio Alliance to ensure the shelves are stocked with a variety of HD Radios at all the retail outlets they claim their product is sold in?

I did my monthly walk-through. I’ve been doing this once a month for the past year. Wal-Mart? Best Buy? Radio Shack? Costco? – Nothing!

That HD Radio delivery guy is still AWOL?

Even worse. Three of the four stores even had Blue-ray DVD players in stock.

Then I got this press release about the National Association of Broadcasters announcing their HD Multicast Award, which will be held at their annual convention in Austin. The award is given based on an HD Radio station that – in their words - is “at the forefront of creating unique, innovative or groundbreaking programming.”

My question. If an HD Radio station is programming unique, innovative or groundbreaking programming but no one hears it – did it really make a sound?
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Klassic KISS video here

Radio: You don’t want HD Radio’s Bilk-o in your foxhole.

You can’t make this stuff up.

How would you like it if one you believed to be a business partner did an about face and supported the very thing your industry is fighting against?

Memo to terrestrial radio: iBiquity and the HD Radio Alliance just double-crossed you.

The dynamic duo closed their dismal year by firing off a letter to the FCC on December 20 urging that if the merger between XM and Sirius satellite radio companies is approved – HD Radios must be included in all satellite receivers.

Riiiiight!

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That means when terrestrial radio promotes HD Radio it’ll be pushing satellite radio, too.

iBiquity’s management and legal team also managed to meet with some lower-level FCC staffers just before the Christmas break in an attempt to grease...er… plead their case.

Poor NAB boss Fumbles. He doesn’t even have juice to meet with the entry level types at the Commission. He’ll always be a mouse studying to be a rat.

Does it astound you as much as it does me that at the NAB convention last September –enemy numero uno was still XM and Sirius – and that proposed merger had to be stopped at all costs?
Unlike Fumbles’ NAB, which vehemently opposes the merger, iBiquity and the HD Radio Alliance - that purportedly serves terrestrial radio owners – evidently does not.

Should the merger be approved iBiquity wants to obstruct the company from any exclusive arrangements with suppliers, retailers, and car makers. They claim that not doing so would provide the merged company a major advantage over HD Radio.

Peter “Sgt. Bilk-o” Ferrara and his HD Radio Alliance troop already know that their product roll-out ought to be rolled-up and tossed away – but there’s too much money at stake for those in the deal to leave on the table even though HD Radio’s outcome is fated.

After stealing the stove – he’d come back for the smoke.

iBiquity argues in that a “combined XM-Sirius could be in a better position to hamper their ability to introduce HD Radio technology into the marketplace.”

Introduce?

Let me read to you a portion of a press release from HD Radio Alliance issued on April 10, 2006: “In response to a surge in consumer demand for HD Digital Radio™ receivers, three major retailers now plan to offer HD Digital Radios in their stores nationwide beginning this month and have announced sweeping marketing and education campaigns to support new customers…..”

Seventeen months later and you’re still introducing your product?

How many products has Steve Jobs announced during the same time frame?

I have to add include this line from that April ’06 press release – just to rub it in – where it described HD Radio as “…what promises to be the biggest trend in consumer entertainment since the advent of FM radio.”

So, let’s say that in iBiquity’s blue sky universe users could choose from both satellite and HD Radio.

No one will argue that when you can pick up and listen to a terrestrial radio station that the quality is close to and competitive with satellite radio. But have you ever listened to the sound of HD Radio side channels?

It’s somewhere between AM and present-day FM. That is, when you can receive them.

XM has exclusive deals with GM, Honda, and Nissan, and Audiovox’s Terk Electronics distribution, which also distributes Sirius satellite antennas.

Sirius has exclusives with Ford, BMW, and Mercedes Benz automakers, retail outlet Radio Shack, and Direct Electronics, which also distributes premium sound systems and vehicle security.

In response to the latest laughable HD Radio demand, XM and Sirius responded in a joint statement saying, “This is evident from the strong support our merger has received from a broad array of businesses and organizations. iBiquity’s own filing highlights satellite radio’s competition with HD radio,” and calling iBiquity’s latest scheme, “…nothing more than a self-interested attempt to use the regulatory process to promote HD radio’s market share in this highly competitive landscape.”

You know, I could’ve sworn that the HD Radio Alliance claimed that a number of retail locations – including the top retailer in America – sold HD Radios.

Bilk-o‘s not what one would call a details guy. He disregards facts. Here’s another one. Most dealerships that offer exclusivity to one system also sell after-market satellite radios of its competitor. A friend who’s a Honda dealer pushes XM and contractually required to do so. But the same dealership also sells after-market Sirius units for customers that prefer their offerings.

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I’m certain car dealers would find shelf space for HD Radios, too. That is, if anyone would buy ‘em.

Bilk-o can’t come to grips with the fact that more ahooga horns were sold for cars last year than HD Radios.

I'll give him credit for one thing. He's made iBiquity and HD Radio’s technical hi-jinks incessant radio industry blog fodder for the past year.

We'll pay very close attention to next week’s Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas to witness the response HD Radio receives there.

In a world of silk purses, HD Radio is a sow’s ear.

Radio: Sing-a-long to Lyin’ Diane’s HD Radio swan song

Memo to Lyin’ Diane Warren, the new president of that Archdiocese of Ruse - the HD Digital Radio Alliance: Give me a break and give it a rest. No one’s buying your deceptive HD Radio campaign. Capishe?

I’m talking about the headline in one of the on-line trades just before Christmas: HD Alliance Continues Aggressive Marketing Campaign.

I ask – you’re continuing what aggressive marketing campaign? Did I miss something? If so, why?

I liked the line you used in one of the trades about taking advantage of improving the chances of your radio campaign being heard during lighter spot loads. Are you claiming that your message was lost because it was wedged in with all those other spots? I’m sure that one’ll go over well with clients that bought time on radio over the past couple of months.

So what is it that you’re trying to sell, Lyin’ Diane?

HD Radio’s workability? Its signal quality? Its HD-2, HD-3 audio?

Even your previous employer, Clear Channel, has backed off from supporting HD Radio except for that brief press release about its poorly named Real Time traffic service on HD Radio. Let’s see. How many cars are HD radio equipped? Thought so.

Just a few weeks earlier they threw in the towel on their what-were-they-smoking-when-they-came-up-with-this HD Radio format lab.

Maybe the HD Radio Alliance fooled some of radio chains some of the time but evidently Bain-Lee’s not among those easily conned.

I hope you’re prepared for those smaller chains that wised up and will not renew their licensing deal. It’s easier for them to cut their losses now and rework external broadcasting toward streaming audio on line.

In due course, one of the major chains will concede and your con game will end.

The Alliance makes one realize that there is something intrinsically childish about con artists. They just can’t get past a kid’s level of ethical development.

It didn’t help HD Radio’s dubious reputation when consultant and paid iBiquity shill Fred Jacobs did his stab of betrayal and was outted for his questionable and quickly-yanked research study.

There was that 41-question survey about HD Radio from Jacobs for iBiquity mentioned in a Radio-info.com forum on October 31 that was hastily replaced by a sanitized 16-question version. Some believe the original study was designed to set up the former – ahem – leadership at the Alliance.

Christmas was a bust, Lyin’ Diane – was it not?

Let me rephrase that. All of 2008 was a bust.

Now, look us in the eyes and tell us how many HD Radios have you really sold this year?

You’re lyin’, Diane, if you blame the economy for poor sales. Your sales were pitiable when the economy was hot.

How about this tally? For the second year in a row the HD Digital Radio Alliance ran more radio spots than any other marketer. That adds up to 1,697,082 spots, up 250,000 from a year ago.

You beat Walmart’s 1.64 million; Geico’s 1.56 million; Verizon’s 1.24 million, and Home Depot’s 1.22 million.

You still didn’t answer the question, Lyin’ Diane. Could you please look us directly in the eyes and tell us how many HD Radio units you really sold this year?

A few months back All Access carried an interview with Joel Salkowicz of Pulse 87.7. He had this to say about the Alliance’s radio campaigns:

In the current economic climate, it’s hard to imagine today’s typical radio company making the necessary investment in Programming for HD because they can’t realize an IMMEDIATE return on investment. A half billion dollars worth of air time has been thrown at promoting HD Radio! The most generous estimates put the number of HD radios out there at somewhere around 500,000. That’s about $1000 in airtime to sell each new radio. Kinda makes the $100 (or so) per subscriber in acquisition costs the satellite companies have been spending look pretty reasonable.

Here are the cold hard facts, Lyin’ Diane. If I were selling against radio I’d use your campaign as the perfect paradigm of how radio cannot sell products.

Now between us we know two facts: 1. HD Radio is something no one wants or needs. 2. Your creative can’t save it. It’s the equivalent of audio wallpaper.

Enter the huckster, iBiquity President and CEO Bob “Booble” Struble.

Let’s read his 2008 in review: "Despite the economic downturn, HD Radio technology made significant strides in 2008 with broadcasters, automotive OEMs and receiver manufacturers. With the backing of almost every major electronics manufacturer, HD Radio receivers will be at the forefront of the digital transition in 2009."

iBiquity deserves blame – I mean acclaim - for conning –I mean convincing – the major radio chains to invest millions in HD Radio conversions as well as paying those hefty license fees. Whoever sold that bill of goods should be up for the Bernie Madoff Integrity Award of the year.

*
Their campaign made other carpetbaggers blush.

I’ll credit iBiquity for their obdurate campaign to market a product no one would be interested in at a time when post-deregulation radio was badly in need of hook to push its product as “new and improved.”

Instead of exploiting a multi-platformed Internet presence, the NAB endorsed HD Radio. Think of where radio would be today had it gone full tilt boogie on the Internet?

*

Your problem was not just getting HD Radios under the Christmas tree. It was trying to get them to work.

Now you’re saying that for the side channels to work efficiently, you need a power increase, right?

You’re telling me that the product you claimed worked yesterday is not working today?

Here are the facts as plain as I can make them. If the FCC approves that ten-fold power increase you’re lobbying for, it will junk up the analog band with enough interference to render listening to analog FM impractical.

Don’t believe it? Ask any engineer who’s not on your, ahem, “payroll.”

Now, let’s get back to your latest “new radio campaign,” Lyin’ Diane.

You’re making still another attempt to push a product that the public has already told you through lack of sales it has no interest in?

Please don’t confuse yourself with the fact that the Great Recession – or whatever we end up calling this meltdown –turned U.S. shoppers frugal.

You see an abrupt turnaround in the economy?

Do you really believe consumers will spend $100 for an HD Radio? How about $50? $25? Even $10?

You know that the CES opens in Vegas on Thursday, Lyin’ Diane?

So far, the big buzz is about old media connectivity to new media. Let me explain.

For video, its televisions with built-in Internet connection for downloading or streaming video and ordering films on-demand from Netflix.

For audio, its portable Internet radio for both home and car.

HD Radio? Lyin’ Diane, I’ve got just the promotion for you. Take a page from “Where’s Waldo?” Ask “Where’s HD Radio?” One difference. You’ll have a better chance of finding someone named Waldo at the CES than spotting a display of HD Radios.

Here’s another fact, Lyin’ Diane.

In three months, we’ll begin hearing about a few over leveraged broadcast chains going belly-up. *

*
How about the roughly $200,000 it cost the average station to go HD Radio?

How many jobs have your folly cost the radio industry, Lyin’ Diane?

Maybe in your world it makes sense to replace working air talent and support staff with a frequency no one listens to and doesn’t generate a penny of revenue?

HD Radio - it’s not the gift that keeps on giving; it’s the mistake they keep on making over and over and over.

iBiquity, if it had a sliver of integrity, would kill HD Radio now. End it cold.

If a TV show doesn’t get its requisite audience, it’s cancelled.

If a movie doesn’t fill seats, it’s not booked for a following week’s run.

If a product doesn’t sell, you stop marketing it.

If a product doesn’t sell, you pull it off the shelves.

Unless it’s HD Radio.

Well, maybe they’re not removed from the shelves. In many case, Lyin’ Diane, they weren’t even stocked in the first place – right? Right.

Radio: HD Radio gets Bilk-o’ed

It’s unique for one to lead an industry when his only knowledge of it is whatever copy is put in front of him to read.

Welcome to the world of David Rehr, a.k.a. Fumbles, the chairman of the National Association of Broadcasters, which purportedly represents the interests of the radio and television industry.

Fumbles, here’s the dilemma of the industry you’re paid the big bucks to represent.

How do you know where radio is going if you don’t know where it’s been and why?

I feel Fumbles needs to rework his Radio 2020 campaign?

Try this modification. Radio 20/20, as in “hindsight is always….” (Thank you, commentator TAlexander for that one)

Say “product development” to Fumbles and he’ll point his stubby finger at the ethically impaired Peter Ferrara, President and CEO of the HD Radio Alliance, henceforth known as Sgt. Bilk-o. (Thank you to commentators anonymous and lock stock barrel for nominating his nom de guerre).

HD Radio, the savior of the radio industry. Insert laugh track here.

Did you hear about Ibiquity’s and Sgt. Bilk-o’s latest setback? I’ve lost count. What’s this? The twelfth in a series?

Let’s talk Citadel. Last time I checked they’re the third largest radio group.

They had to yank the plug out of their AM HD Radio audio when, in their words, the “results were disappointing.”

Ibiquity responded with a statement: We understand Citadel’s caution and are working with them to understand what they are experiencing and to address their concerns.

Don’t you just hate it when that happens?

iBiquity insists there were only a few complaints about their HD Radio AM folly. Let’s listen in on their response, The vast majority of the feedback we’ve received on AM nighttime broadcasting has been positive.

Of course. If there’s no one listening there’s no one to complain.

How many months has it been and we’ve yet to see an independent audit on how many HD Radio units you’ve actually sold? The word is sold – as in someone paid money to buy one. Unsold inventory doesn’t count. Returns don't count. Demos don’t count. Trade doesn’t count.

Sgt. Bilk-o and other members of the HD Digital Radio Alliance apparently overlooked the downside to lying. You have to remember the lies you told and to whom.

Take that panel FCC’s audio division head Peter Doyle was on.

Ibiquity, the HD Digital Radio Alliance, and Fumbles bragged about the 1,500 radio stations they allege broadcast in HD.

One problem. The FCC has only 1,300 licenses filed for HD Radio stations.

That led Doyle to ask, “If you’re one of the 200, please let us know.”

He’s still waiting.

Bilk-o did surprise us and release a claim that about – key word – about 500 HD Radio receivers were sold on QVC in “just over” twenty minutes. No further information, like actual qualifying of those numbers, and curiously, why did Bilk-o wait a full week before releasing the alleged – key word – alleged figures?

I had mentioned earlier in the week that I received a half-dozen e-mail bulletins on the new relationship between Ford and HD Radio. Though the press release was written to make one believe that every Ford, Lincoln, and Mercury would be equipped with an HD Radio – the reality is that it’s just an option – and only one of many audio options Ford offers. Let’s see HD Radio or SYNC (which provides wireless Internet, which means access to thousands of Internet radio stations). How many say, “I’ll take the HD Radio instead of other options offered?

One? None?

What I didn’t know and thank commentator Day of the Jackal for pointing out: The only reason Ford is allowing HD Radio as a $280 + $50 installation fee, is that Ford owns Visteon which makes HD radios, and that Ford is an investor in iBiquity. Even Ford doesn't have much faith in HD Radio, as it is a second-class, point-of-sale, dealer-installed option.

Nothing is ever as it seems with the HD Radio Alliance.

Who told the most lies last week? Sgt. Bilk-o at the NAB or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad at the UN.

Though he’s a former senior VP at Clear Channel, you can’t call Sgt. Bilk-o a has-been. Never-was is closer to it.

What’s the definition of tune-out? Try Bilk-o’s latest HD Radio campaign. I particularly like the one that calls HD Radio “cool” for teenagers and has one speaking in Valley Girlesque. So 1982. Just when you can’t imagine the HD Radio campaign getting any worse….

There isn’t even any creative in their creative.

I know I’m repeating myself – but there was this NAB Convention last week where nothing was accomplished. Radio listening continues to decline; HD radio still isn’t selling – and now the threat of radio paying royalties to labels is becoming very real. We’ll save the latter for another time.

Repeat after me, Fumbles. You can’t create revenue if you don’t have product to sell.

Let me illustrate it in a way you, an ex-beer promoter, can understand it. Most radio station’s creative today, most of which is run from corporate offices, is comparable to an empty bottle of beer. It’s empty! Who’s going to buy an empty bottle of beer? There’s nothing in it. Get it?

Fish stink from the head and that’s where change has to take place if this industry has plans to sell radio as a product by, let’s say, 2010.

We’re turning the clock back to 1985 when a power struggle at Apple forced out Steve Jobs.

His replacement, John Sculley, a former Pepsi-Cola CEO, raised the price of the Macintosh by $500; shunned upgrades in favor of selling existing brands, and misused R&D by tossing money at projects with little to no commercial appeal.

While Sculley dismantled the culture and creativity of Apple, Jobs started NeXT, whose workstation helped Tim Berners-Lee develop the World Wide Web.

Since Jobs returned to Apple, among other things, he reinvented the way we access and listen to music. Then there’s Pod-casting. You get the point.

And, no, Fumbles, though you’ve been quoted as saying otherwise, Jobs has no plans to add an AM-FM HD receiver to junk up his iPod and iPhones.

Did you ever hear Steve Jobs speak? He’s the opposite of Fumbles and Bilk-o. Jobs has passion. Fumbles and Bilk-o don’t even know what the word means.

Jobs sells his product. Radio doesn’t have a product. You can’t generate revenue without product. Need I continue?

HD Radio’s generated absolutely nothing for anyone except for engineering headaches, spreading a thin staff thinner, and mostly half-assed automated formats. HD Radio is not going to save the industry.

Radio’s audience demands change on the stations they can access. They don’t need another dozen or so stations. They want something that’s not being given to them. Let me spell that out for you again, Fumbles: C-R-E-A-T-I-V-I-T-Y and C-O-N-T-E-N-T – and that’s with a liberal dash of passion and honesty.

You know the old saying - In business, usually, what is obvious usually turns out to be true.

Half Dead Radio

You’re Peter Ferrara, president and CEO of the HD Digital Radio Alliance and you put out a press release yesterday, which read HD Digital Radio Momentum Accelerates With Debut on QVC.

You read right. QVC.

That’s where you go when you get rejected by HSN.

QVC = sloppy seconds.

This is the same QVC that was charged with making deceptive claims about weight loss products it was hawking by the Federal Trade Commission. The Justice Department also filed suit against QVC for falsifying those claims.

What’s the QVC business plan? Dazzle the rubes to separate them from their cash.

And how about that? It’s identical to the HD Radio Alliance’s!

Back to the highlights of the press release:

The HD Digital Radio Alliance, a joint initiative of leading broadcasters to accelerate the rollout of HD Digital Radio, announced today that three popular HD Radio receiver models will premiere on QVC, Wednesday, September 26 at 10 PM (ET).

It’s the start of the fall season on the TV networks and PBS debuts the heavily promoted Ken Burns’ World War II series. And, let’s see, 10 PM, it’ll be opposite the new season premiere of CSI-Miami and two heavily-hyped new series debuts, Life and Dirty Sexy Money. Plus you’ll have at least a couple of stations doing their local 10 PM newscasts. Then there’s cable. And sports. Not sure where QVC ends up in the pecking order.

The QVC show will feature state-of-the-art HD Radio receivers to suit a variety of styles and budgets.

I don’t believe anyone has budgeted for an HD Radio in the real world.

Such a shame because the product is such a paragon of quality.

That’s a joke, Peter.

In conjunction with the QVC offer, the HD Digital Radio Alliance will promote the upcoming HD Radio show on QVC with a national radio advertising campaign reaching 100 markets.

We’ve experienced the effectiveness of your previous HD Radio ad campaigns, Peter.

I’m kind of partial to the HD Radio-BMW promo tie-in, which I heard as the final element in a particularly long spot cluster the other day. It inspired me to call a friend at a BMW dealership.

“What’s HD Radio?” That’s what he said.

When I told him about the promo he said, “Oh, yeah…that! We're offering it as a $500 option on the Year Seven series – but there’s far more interest in satellite radio – and we’re getting asked a lot about those iPod docking stations.”

Peter, I feel for you. I'm sure there are days when feel like pulling your hair out – then you realize that you’ve already done that.

"QVC provides a unique retail at-home environment that is ideal for helping even more consumers discover the cool new content and crystal clear sound provided by HD Digital Radio," said Peter Ferrara, president and CEO of the HD Digital Radio Alliance. "When QVC shoppers see the wide variety of stylish HD Radio receivers and discover the benefits, they are going to want to experience the digital upgrade immediately."

Peter, you need some new material. It’s stale and misleading.

Who do you think you are?

Conrad Black?

Johnny Rigas?

Don't send Ferrara The Blackwell Guide to Business Ethics as a Christmas present. It would only confuse him with the facts.

My guess is that those few viewers you may get during your HD Radio snake oil sales hour will be waiting for your pitch to end and Joan Rivers’ artificial overpriced baubles sale to begin.

Peter, the phone didn’t ring. It must be all the American people interested in HD Radio.

What’s the pitch?

HD Radio is just like HD TV without the picture?

HD Radio broadcasting is sweeping the country, available to over 80 percent of the population. More than 1,500 AM/FM stations are currently offering subscription free digital content, including more than 600 HD2 multicast stations offering unique formats and content. All a consumer needs is a new HD Radio receiver; the content is free. The radios are priced for everyone from under $100 from major mass-market retailers across the U.S. Virtually everyone can experience the crystal-clear digital sound on AM and FM as well as the broadcast-exclusive new FM channels.

Just because it’s available to 80 percent of the population doesn’t mean anyone wants it.

Crystal clear digital sound? Those side channels I’ve heard sound like a poorly processed FM – that is, when you can pick up those side channels.

Exciting formats? Is there something I don’t know?

Can’t wait to see how you botch AM radio.

I did learn that in HD Radio’s case QVC is a destination station.

It’s where you go when the HD Radio campaigns at Radio Shack, Best Buy, and Wal-Mart crash – or in your case, Peter, failed to launch.

I checked back at both Wal-Mart and Best Buy this week.

Hadn’t been there since just before Father’s Day when the clerks – who were in your target demo - didn’t have clue about what I was talking about and directed me to the HD TVs and satellite radio displays.

Guess what? Wal-Mart and Best Buy?

Neither store has them, knows of them, or had any inquiries about them.

So, Peter. Where are they?

Shouldn't you and Ibiquity be doing a major marketing and promotional roll-up to the Christmas shopping season?

Oh, that’s right. You are.

And Radio Shack? They said “turn off the…..” what? “And come to…." where?

Radio: HD Radio's holiday horror

I’ll hand it to the HD Digital Radio Alliance. iBiquity CEO Bob “Booble” Stuble, HD Digital Radio Alliance head Peter “Sgt. Bilko” Ferrara, and his sidekick and soon-to- be replacement Lyin’ Diane Warren sure know how to flaunt their fraud with zeal.

They’ve announced their “Holiday ad flight” – 30 second spots pitching why “HD Radio receivers make great gifts.” The selling points include “clear sound” and “no bills to listen to all the new content like that other radio service.”

The spots will also encourage listeners to text SANTA or GIFT to 58011 so they can be kept – as the Alliance puts it – “up to date on the latest HD Radio specials and discounts.”

Not that anyone’s asking, mind you.

The flight, which participating radio stations have committed to, runs - at no-cost - from November 5 through December 28.

If you want to scrutinize their killer creative (as in their creative would kill if the product wasn’t already dead) – go to the HD Digital Radio Alliance – and type in User: AWESOME; Passcode: awesome. And, no, I didn’t make any of this up.

So here we go again. Those selling against radio will use this campaign as a mission to prove that radio can’t sell products – not even its own.

You and I know that it’s not radio that’s ineffective– it’s a dead-on-arrival product that no one wants, needs, or remotely cares about.

Standard & Poor’s is estimating a 2 to 2.5 percent drop in electronics sales this season.

However, just yesterday the Clear Channel owned-Inside Radio claimed in a propaganda piece about HD Radio sales that: Electronics are expected to be the bright spot in what retailers forecast will be a difficult holiday season.

Decisions, decisions. Whose forecast are we to trust?

Standard & Poor’s, a company whose business it is to provide financial data and information?

Or Inside Radio, a daily Internet-delivered radio trade owned by a company with an investment in iBiquity, the developer and licenser of HD Radio?

Inside Radio also claimed that – here are the exact words – the Alliance hopes to sell its one-millionth HD Radio by the end of the year.

I never said they didn’t have a sense of humor. I will say that they don’t mean to.

How much longer will the industry afford to overlook the chronic misdeeds of iBiquity and the Alliance?

I’ll bet Boobles has the iBiquity shredders ready to slice and dice documents and a degaussing machine ready for the hard drives before the FBI, DOJ, and FCC traipse through their records. It’ll be interesting to see who got what out of this sour deal?

If pay-for-play was the appetizer, HD Radio is the main course.

A few days ago Clear Channel put a press release announcing the long-term contract renewals with its senior programming team.

Among those in renewal mode is Executive VP of Content Development Tom Owens.

A totally irrelevant job for a totally irrelevant person.

It mentioned that Owens “supervised the roll-out of (Clear Channel’s) HD Radio programming, including the co-development of the Clear Channel Format Lab, which created more than 75 original formats and supplied programming to more than 300 HD Radio multicast channels…”

Let’s stop right there.

What the release neglected to mention was that of the 300-plus formats, only 46 remain due to “lack of demand,” and just a scant seven custom format channels are being hyped on Clear Channel's I Heart Music web site.

I’d have to believe that Owens had a team of programmers working with him to develop these 300-plus formats. That’s a lot of time and talent – wasted.

As they say in Covington, Ky., he forgot who brung him to the dance or he can talk the talk but can't walk the walk.

Just think. Instead of trying to developing new formats – he could’ve had his programmers fine-tune the accessible Clear Channel formats that can be heard on analog terrestrial radio –instead of the ones on HD Radio that can’t.

But, nooooo! That’s too logical.

We already have too many radio stations on terrestrial AM and FM.

Show me the supply and demand of HD Radio. You can’t. But I can show you plenty of examples of artificial demand.

If every man, woman and child in this great country of ours had complete and total access to HD Radio – it would obliterate the radio industry. You’d have listeners spread out on to too many radio stations for any one station to show effective reach and frequency.

Do the math. This blue sky world for HD Radio would put all radio out of business. No one station would have enough listeners to justify advertising.

But in keeping with Wall Street ethics, it’s so much easier to reward failure these days.