Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Radio: Of golden turkeys and chucked ducks

Choices, choices. Who's most worthy of radio's Golden Turkey award?

Let’s bring out the three finalists.


Lew Dickey, President and CEO of Cumulus.


Farid Suleman, President and CEO of Citadel.


John Hogan, CEO of Clear Channel Radio.


Come on down.


Lew, Farid, and John have contributed immeasurable improprieties to the decline and fall of the radio industry. They’re the top executives at radio groups where failure is continually rewarded.


Let’s begin with Lew.


You’re Lew Dickey. You and your brother John boast of being amongst the select few mere mortals to be born with “these extra-large hard drives” in your heads. Your words, not mine. Say you’re right. So what? It’s not the hard drive. It’s what’s on it. The palpable mismanagement you’ve given Cumulus only reinforces the maxim, “garbage in, garbage out.”


You’re Lew Dickey and we can’t fault you for being so vain. Maybe you and John are the smartest men in any room. Okay, Lew, you are the smartest; John is a little slower - but close.


You’re Lew Dickey and anyone with the unfortunate fate of being involved with you and your Brainiac brother finish up in a quick spin through the official Cumulus revolving door.


You’re Lew Dickey and you and John know how to clutch your piece of the action while the company dissipates around you. On the day when Cumulus finally fades into the fog, you and John will wink, smile, look you the rest of us in the eye and paraphrase that old Connie Francis song, “Who’s Smarter Now?” as you walk from your corrupt deal wheel-barrowing bushels of cash.


And how about that Farid Suleman? Talk about rewarding failure!


You’re Farid Suleman. It’s all about bankrupting your company so thoroughly that its lenders are forced to keep you on since you’re the only one who truly knows how badly you screwed up Citadel.


You’re Farid Suleman and you lusted for own kingdom and got it - but you were King Midas in reverse. Everything you touched turned to crap.


You’re Farid Suleman and, you couldn’t even afford to keep one of your Pennsylvania stations on the air - so you just turned it off and fortuitously forgot to report that incident to the FCC, which you are obligated to do as a license-holder.


You’re Farid Suleman and you always wanted to be a number one and now you’ll have the dubious distinction of being the first CEO of a major radio chain to drive it into Chapter 11.


John Hogan? Have you gotten used to the mechanism and strings Bain Capital and Thomas H. Lee attached to your body?


You are John Hogan. Clear Channel led the way in voice-tracking and now, here you are - voice-tracked by Bain and Lee.


You’re John Hogan. You believe that we must flout the fact that local sales have as much to do with building relationships as ratings. Don’t confuse Bain and Lee with those facts. They plan to nationalize radio sales.



It’s Das Klear Khannel all over again.



Their radio markets are mere Klear Khannel satellite republics. There’s New Yorkistan, Los Angelistan, Philadelhiastan, San Franciscoastan, and Bostonia, and others too numerous to manage, er, mention.



Like the Soviet Union, it may work on paper - but in practice it will be a dismal failure.


Remember a few years back when you signed off on Clear Channel banning some songs written by John Lennon from airplay? You should’ve banned Vladimir Lenin, whose playbook has too much in common with Clear Channel’s.



You’re John Hogan and if your programming isn’t done locally, why should sales be trusted with those who know the market best? So you hire Chris Soechtig, the former Tampa sales director for the new position of Senior VP of sales operations to oversee the thousand-plus properties.



You’re John Hogan. Your national programmers control what everyone hears on the air. Now, Soechtig will be the counterpart for sales. We can expect those “one day fire sale” e-mails a few markets promoted to become uniform.



If it worked in Philadelphia, it’ll work in Detroit. Same lunch bucket market, right? Sorry, John. Didn’t mean to quote Dan Mason.


You’re John Hogan and you remember the old term “black dollars,” the buys agencies would set aside for urban contemporary formats, some which were on minority-owned radio stations. Clever sales managers at these stations would make sure the buys were spread to all of their properties.


It worked - and it kept many urban stations afloat during lean times.


Now, Clear Channel plans to do this nationally by creating an urban network and putting all of its African-American targeted formats under one umbrella. Buy one? You gotta buy ‘em all.


Okay, turkey of the year? It’s up to you. Lew, Farid, and John. You pick. It’s too close to call.


One more thing.


You can mark this date on the calendar since I’m making a rare, positive statement about the National Association of Broadcasters (NAB).


Yes, you read that right.


I’m thankful that the NAB chucked the duck and David “Fumbles” Rehr along with it.


So far, I admire the approach its new CEO, Gordon Smith, is taking with the Record Industry Association of America (RIAA) robber barons.


He’s not sending Congress and the RIAA stuffed ducks. He’s not making veiled threats to labels and artists. He’s not writing long-winded letters to the President.


What Gordon Smith is doing is telling the truth.


Radio doesn’t have money. It cannot afford the ludicrous performance royalty tax the RIAA wants to levy on the industry.


Radio is not in the bail out business for the labels.


I’ve said it before. There are no good guys here. When the labels were healthy, radio took advantage of them.


It wasn’t entirely their fault. Whenever the labels offered payola and other incentives for airplay - radio took it.


Radio took it whether it was illegal, semi-legal, or legal. It doesn’t really matter.


In the end, it nearly killed both industries. Music radio ceased to provide the soundtrack to popular culture and the labels pushed only music by artists and managers willing to give up a percentage of their royalties to fund payola.


Radio lost its ability to sell music and the labels have no solid replacement.


Before there is even a discussion on why the RIAA wants to siphon off of radio what it can no longer get from the consumer its labels screwed - Smith is telling it like it is. There is no money to be had.


Mismanagement on radio’s behalf, though real, is not an issue since the record industry suffers from the same disease. Smith didn’t have to say if the music’s not free, we’ll be all sports and talk.


The NAB still faces a tough battle in Congress. David “Fumbles” Rehr did nearly irreparable damage to the radio industry’s image during his brief reign. His abrasive “ready, fire, aim” statements and threats can’t be erased that easily.


Let’s be thankful for two things. Fumbles is gone and we’re another day closer to effecting change in our industry. It will come.


Happy Thanksgiving.

97 comments:

Anonymous said...

amen brother.

Anonymous said...

As much as Lew Dickey and Farid Suleman tried they still lag behind Clear Channel's John Hogan for the award. Hogan could be disqualified on a technicality, voice tracking and puppeteering however. If you look at how Lew Dickey's Cumulus and Farid Suleman's Citadel function they still follow Clear Channel's lead. John Hogan still wins in a very close photo-finish race.

Anonymous said...

I go for the UP-SET!

Farid Suleman by a hair. He made Mel Karmazin a zillionaire but could not be captain of the ship.

Lew comes close but it's family money and a family business and he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. He couldn't wait on a table if he had to be on his own. Harvard boy wasnt smart enough to even cancel his own wedding he didnt show up to.

Hogan is now just a mutant puppet for Bain-Lee. He is over and done with. Just an errand boy.

Anonymous said...

Got to go with Dickey. First hand knowledge here reporting for duty. Forget everything you ever heard about his intelligence. He has none. I bet he coasted through Harvard. He has made some of the dumbest moves in downsizing and management and territories. You think Farid Suleman had stations off the air for days? You have not heard the horror stories about Cumulus engineers stretched to the very limit and going from one emergency to another. Eventually this company will implode. You are also right that Lew Dickey and his dimwit idiot brother will walk with cash in hand while everyone else gets shat on.

Anonymous said...

John, I admire the fact that you have the passion for radio. But is it too late? Have the Hogans, Dickeys and Sulemans done too much damage to bring the industry back. I agree that we will see fire sales and stations selling for ten cents on the dollar because they are now worth only that. Are there enough people willing to roll up their sleeves and turn this industry around? Are there enough people who can as you say 'marry' old media with new? I remain doubtful but hopeful. It will only happen if the bureaucracy that took over radio 12-15 years ago is removed. Have creative people in programming and promotion and hungry account executives that believe in what they are selling in sales. Only then can we think of turning this industry around.

Anonymous said...

Hey John: Your love affair with Gordon Smith will be over soon. Yes, he was able to translate the message to the record companies far better than Fumbles ever could but Gordon Smith is a talking head and strictly a figure head for the NAB board which sets policy. The NAB will still push for the same old stuff including HD radio and further deregulation. Gordon Smith may be the new CEO of the NAB but the NAB itself has not changed. Eventually too they will have to concentrate more on television too.

Anonymous said...

DICKEY DICKEY DICKEY DICKEY DICKEY. VOTE FOR DICKEY. I worked for Clear Channel and Citadel before I worked for Cumulus. Everyone told me up front that it would be the worst experience of my life AND IT WAS! This is the most mismanaged poorly run company in America. Worse than Clear Channel, worse than Citadel (except there is NO Judy Ellis). Dickey badgers, goads and mentally tortures his employees. I am surprised there haven't been more suicides. You can tell when Dickey wants you out. He will not fire you. He will make your life so miserable you will have to get out which is what happened to me. DICKEY DICKEY DICKEY DICKEY - there is NO COMPANY WORSE THAN CUMULUS.

Anonymous said...

I'm going with John Hogan. You have to give him credit. He is still there. He has survived CC from the beginning, outlasting Randy Micheals for one. As long as Hogan is CEO of Clear Channel there is no contest. He is still the front runner and still introducing the most number of techniques to destroy the radio industry. Lew Dickey and Farid Suleman always follow his lead no matter what. They are trying to make a name for themselves. Until Hogan is ousted from Clear Channel, he is DA MAN, DA MYTH and DA TURKEY.

Anonymous said...

My vote goes to the beady eyed Farid Suleman who should share this award with his equally beady eyed Judy Ellis.

There is no worse judge of character than Farid Suleman. He could not even judge himself or he never would have taken the job.

He put the finishing touches on ABC Radio which was already near death with guys like Mitch Dolan running it. Let's play golf, have lunch, read our e mail and go home.

Farid did what he did to show Mel Karmazin he could be just like him and proved he couldnt. Mel is the guy who would kick anyone except Howard Stern out of his lifeboat. Farid would have saved Judy Ellis.

Anonymous said...

Screw Lew, go with the Ho...

Hogan that is.

Lew is nothing but a copy cat. Hogan is the hero.

Fareeeeed at last? Never. He is small potatoes.

Anonymous said...

I vote for Bob Struble - his scam would make Dr. John Brinkley and Lee DeForest blush.

Anonymous said...

Someone wondered if there were still dedicated professionals who would be willing to try to save radio after whatever "fire sales" there are?

The answer is a qualified YES. Qualified not because of the people or their dedication, but because of the law.

Unless these dedicated people get behind a unified, grass-roots, no bullsh!t, balls-to-the-wall effort to repeal the mass consolidation legalization provisions of the Telecommunications Act of 1996, then the law and economics-of-scale will work for new owners just the same as the current ones. Same crap, different day. Nobody who loves this industry wants to put themselves back in the same situation.

These conglomorates have to be broken up into reasonable sizes, there need to be limits on station ownerships again (it doesn't have to be max 24, but it sure as hell can't be max 1,200+).

Voice-tracking would still have its place (we will not get rid of that, sorry to say). However, chances are more "locally owned" stations would try to win with personality rather than cut-to-the-bone generic radio that is going on now.

Unless the people who are sitting on the beach can find a leader who can articulate WHY the Telecomm Act needs to be revised, HOW it needs to be revised, and how that revision will bring about the COMPETITION promised in the original act (that has demonstrably failed), radio will continue bleeding in the wilderness...gangrenous...and hacking off limbs to try and save itself from certain demise.

Anonymous said...

i agree w/that other comment about gordon smith. he is doing what he is told & doing it better than fumbles rehr did. however he is working from their ajenda so I expect the s.o.s./d.d. to surface at any moment. the board picks the topics and battles to fight.
my vote goes to hogan. still leader of the rat pack.

Anonymous said...

You would think that considering the current vampire craze these bloodsucking CEOs would be superstars.

Anonymous said...

My vote goes to Lew Dickey because he is allegedly smarter and should know better. In reality Lew Dickey is a dummy. He has gone through life with his fortune handed to him. On his own he left his bride stranded at the altar and wrote it off as being too young. Lew is the guy you want to see take a wrong turn off the highway and end up in a neighborhood full of people he has never seen before and no way out of there. It would be a fitting finish for a man who has no respect for anyone, including himself. Did I forget to add that I don't like the man. He is a coward hiding behind his father's family fortune.

Anonymous said...

Farid for his greed and believing that he could be his own man. Mel found him, made him and when he struck out on his own he fell flat on his face. It did not help his cause to have Judy Clueless Ellis the dragonlady as his sidekick. Between the 2 of them they have to be the best comic relief the radio industry has to offer. The only reason Farid lands on his feet is because his head is so close to them.

Anonymous said...

How about a three way tie? They're all overpaid, bloated incompetents.

Anonymous said...

How about a three way tie? They're all overpaid, bloated incompetents.

Anonymous said...

F A R I D!

SOB ruined a number of careers to save his own sorry ass.

Take Judy Ellis and stuff her too.

Anonymous said...

LEW DICKEY for being the copycat of the year. Shows how smart he is. He had to follow John Hogan around and learn how to screw over employees from him. LEW DICKEY for disguising his dumbness by overcompensating his Harvard education. Where did you graduate in your class, Lew? Harvard evening school? Screw LEW. He deserves the GOLDEN TURKEY AWARD. Your ex employees love you almost as much as your current ones.

Anonymous said...

Dickey wins. Farid just misses and I think Hogan should be disqualified because he is now nothing more than a Terminator for Bain Capital and THLee.

Dickey is scum. Nothing short of that. He treats his people even worse than CC and Citadel if you can believe it.

I would rather starve than work for that prick again.

Anonymous said...

Sort of shooting fish in a barrel here, John, but I wanted to pick up on one thing you said about Hogan:

"…we must flout the fact that local sales have as much to do with building relationships as ratings…"

If radio execs understood this one simple fact, the industry would be thriving. Relationships fostered through programming and promotions as well as client/account exec. are the key to successfully running a radio station.

You can show clients whatever book you want, they know who is reaching their customers and their key demographic. You simply cannot bullshit them with some flashy research and expect them to buy with any enthusiasm or loyalty.

By the same token, when you've built that relationship, advertisers will literally hound you to take their money. I've been there, I've seen it work and I've never seen any other way to make this business work. Sorry to all the MBAs and investment bankers, but that's just the reality of the business you've bought into. And unless you learn it, you will never succeed.

Anonymous said...

Count me in for Lew Dickey. None worse.

Anonymous said...

DICK-EY.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone except John Hogan, Farid Suleman, Lew Dickey.

We will be thankful when you are out of the picture which hopefully will be soon, suckers.

LEW DICKEY FOR GOLDEN TURKEY.

The smartest bird in any pen.

Anonymous said...

Do you think the Dickey family spend the afternoon doing IQ tests on one another all day Thanksgiving?

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Loved your book. I just want to correct the Neil Young Time Fades Away show on pg. 30. It was at Public Hall not Music Hall (Feb. 1973). In fact the Time Fades Away LP's 2nd track (Journey Through the Past) was recorded at that Cleveland show, and it says 'Public Hall Cleveland' on the back cover. The 11/19/73 Tonight's the Night show (Nils Lofgren opened) was at Music Hall. I was at both shows. Thanks for writing the book.
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