If I looked up ‘David Rehr’ on one of those classmates websites would I learn that he was the kid they picked on at school?
If I looked up ‘David Rehr’ would I learn that the two words he used the most in school was, “I’m tellin’?”
If I looked up 'David Rehr' would I learn that he never played sports because he always dropped the ball?
If I looked up ‘David Rehr’ would his yearbook read, “Most likely not to succeed?”
Fumbles, there comes a time when you got to get tough and that was when you were hired to head the National Association of Broadcasters.
Instead, we got a wimp.
You just can’t find good help anymore.
What is it about a unified XM-Sirius that frightens you? Step back, take a deep breath, chew on a Xanax and get control of yourself.
Stopping the clock? Mel nearly had a bilateral hernia from laughing so hard. Much ado about nothing. You agreed, albeit reluctantly, with the FCC on their 180 day deal merger decision.
You can’t raise your hand and say, “Not fair.” That didn’t work when the big kids shot spitballs at you or knocked the books out of your hands – and it’s not going to work now.
Desperate times call for desperate measures and when the going gets tough, Fumbles writes long letters and petitions. In this case, nine pages of drivel, which you can read here, tidied up in a cute pdf file:
Fumbles has even taken to calling it, “a government sanctioned merger.” He’s not making any friends in high places. Then again he never had any to begin with.
Do you know how to find the NAB offices without a map? Just follow the stench of fear.
Okay, XM and Sirius hired all the right lobbyists while you threw away your war chest on John Ashcroft. Get past that, Fumbles.
You want more time – let me repeat – more time - to examine internal documents you expect to receive through a Freedom of Information Request in hopes of finding some wrong doing at Sirius?
Fumbles, I know your obsessed with finding the memo, the note, or the e-mail that proves your conspiracy theories on their ground-based transmitters and repeaters?
You’d better hope that the tables aren’t turned on you – and a lot of the rule-bending radio faux pas that have occurred over the past decade – accidental or deliberate – aren’t revealed about one or more of your members.
Sure, there’s that SEC 10-K filing that had “certain Sirius personnel” requesting that “manufacturers produce Sirius radios that were not consistent with FCC rules.”
And I'm sure you'll find some little old lady who unitentionally picked up the Howard Stern show or the adult comedy channel on Sirius instead of the NPR or religious station she usually listens to - and her quality of life was forever damaged after hearing a couple of four-letter words.
Don’t you hate when that happens?
Here’s your dilemma, Fumbles. There’s been a fair share of – how can we put it – accidentally on purpose errors committed by the radio chains you represent. Maybe there were a few move-ins that weren’t exactly what one would call legal?
I know, I know, Fumbles. You share that predicament with the FCC, which just can’t keep up with the paperwork – as if by design – on all the buying, selling, trading, and swapping – mostly from a company whose initials are CC.
So you fear the FCC will equalize those evils by tossing one satellite radio’s way? Is that what has you cowering?
Satellite radio is not the enemy. Friendly fire is.
The NAB is supposed to be in a leadership role for the stations it represents. So try being a leader – not a tattletale – because if you play that card, you’re going to lose.
Maybe you’ve forgotten that Mel’s an ex-radio guy – and knows where all the post-deregulation terrestrial radio bodies are buried.
But he’s not your worst enemy. You are.
Let the merger happen. It’s not going to slaughter terrestrial radio. It may, in fact, help it.
Fumbles, consider this.
Who says a combined XM-Sirius won’t get competition from a new satellite radio contender? Ever hear of Primosphere? More about them another time.
Fumbles, we know that you're faxing and e-mailing your resume to any interested party. The bad news is that there aren’t any parties interested in you.
Unless the god Fumbles prays to comes through, he’s going to be living with – at best – a three to two vote in favor of the merger. The Justice department? They’ve already made up their mind. Sorry, Fumbles, you’re toast.
Most people know how to take something significant and restructure it into the symbol their circumstance requires. You’re not one of them.
Fumbles, we know that you've even solicited the Consumer’s Union to secure their anti-merger support. Shocking! You actually had to grovel to a liberal organization.
You're off Ashcroft's Christmas card list for that one.
You can’t predict the future, you can only create it. What kind of future have you created for the NAB, Fumbles?